You are Jonah, the rebellious prophet of God. God gave you a very simple order, "preach to the citizens of Ninevah, lest they perish". You were extremely resistant to this order and God had to lead you, kicking and screaming, all the way to the city. Based on your personality, there are two possible explanations for this. Reason number 1: You just didn't feel like going out of your way to save the people of Ninevah. In other words, because you are not a very driven person, you simply lacked the motivation to leave your homeland and save those people. Reason number 2: You had contempt for the people in Ninevah. In other words, you didn't care if the people in Ninevah perished, because you didn't care about the people. In fact, you might have secretly enjoyed watching God rain fire and brimstone from heaven on them. Because you are outspoken and direct, you had no problem telling God that you disagreed with his plan. However, ultimately, your humility won out and you obeyed God's command, but for a while there, you made a pretty good villain.




OTHER BIBLICAL VILLAINS
A Child of Israel
The Serpent
The Phillistine
Judas Iscariot
Jonah
The Demon
The Fallen Angel
The False Prophet
Goliath
Pharaoh
King Nebuchadnezzar
Caiaphas
King Saul
Cain
The Antichrist
Satan

Based on your family, money, political context, and personal situation -- during the important years of your development -- it appears your life was VERY DIFFICULT. What does this mean? Well, the "difficulty" of your life is a measure of how rough you had it. Relative to the world, you had a very, very difficult childhood. I'm not sure what "success" means to you, but whatever it is, you can achieve it. When you do, it'll be that much more impressive.

I have a new test! Straight males and gay/bi females, check out my brand new How Low Are Your Sex Standards Test

According to your score, you are on the threshold of possessing a truly dirty mind. You might enjoy a dirty joke or two once in a while, but you haven't allowed your thoughts to become that smutty. You may enjoy thinking dirty once in a while, but chances are it's not your top priority on your list of things to think about. You take it easy and probably don't offend people, and probably aren't easily offended, either. You possess a good balance of pure and impure thoughts.

Ok so you did pretty good on the test. Your score says you appreciate different cultures, but you cant hide your true self. Just like the pic, you roll with the cool crowd, but you still go home to your mommy and eat macaroni and cheese.

Brilliant! You are a Wizard!


Wizards are spells-casters who study powerful arcane magic. While Wizards tend to be pretty fragile, some of those spells can pack quite a punch. Unlike Clerics, Wizards aren't as good at fixing people as they are at breaking them, so watch where you toss that fireball!


Your most distinctive trait is your intelligence. You're probably well learned and logical, if perhaps a bit fragile.

You love a manly man and you don't have time for boys. You like someone who looks exotic and who takes care of his body and hygiene. That is a good idea in case you are trying to eat jello shooters off of his beautiful 6 pack. Someone like.....Jean-Claude Van Damme, Belgium's hottest export. But let's face it, the whole point of this was to look at a bunch of hot guys. If you liked what you saw, please rate my test!

This test measured you according to four criteria: Philosophy, Pride, Involvement and Citizen Status.



Philosophy reflects whether you agree with the philosophical foundations of the United States, such as: liberty, equality, democracy (though limited, not absolute), capitalism, checks and balances, constitutionalism, etc.



Pride reflects your assessment of the factual reality and history of the United States as a nation. It is your opinion as to whether the United States has been a "good" country and whether it has acted rightly or not.



Involvement reflects your level of political activism--whether you act to stay informed of what is going on in the world, and what you do on the basis of that information.



Citizen Status simply reflects whether you claimed to be a citizen of the U.S. when asked by this test.



It is the opinion of this test that, of these four factors, the only one that matters when it comes to being considered a Patriotic American is one's score in the first category--Philosophy. Therefore, if you scored between 0-33% in that category, you have been rated 'Unpatriotic'; 34-66%, 'Somewhat Patriotic'; 67-100% 'Patriotic'.



Certainly, the other categories provide interesting information for your (and others') consideration. However, they are not crucial for Patriotism, and they do not necessarily reflect a love, or its lack, for one's country. Regarding American Pride, some people will be surprised that it does not affect the outcome of the test; some people will be upset by this. However, if a person supports every military action the United States has ever engaged in, but does not really support his neighbors' right to live their lives in the ways that they see fit, then they do not truly love the United States. Further, and despite much of the rhetoric some political pundits engage in, a truly Patriotic American can be highly critical of many of the actions undertaken by the U.S. throughout history. Certainly, much of what the United States has done has been done poorly or for the wrong reasons. And while the author of this test believes that the United States has been mainly a force for good in the world (and the most-free, best nation ever to exist), he respects the opinions of those who would disagree with him and fully supports their right to dissent. For that is what America is all about.



Regarding Involvement, it has been said that eternal vigilance is the price of liberty. This is true, however it is also true that liberty means that people can be as involved, or not involved, as they want. Choosing not to vote, while perhaps unwise, is as much an exercise of political liberty as anything else. Certainly, however, a low score in involvement might mean that a person could stand to try to be more aware of current events, or more actively involved in shaping them, because sometimes they matter.



Regarding Citizen Status, I am certain that many people will believe that to truly be a Patriotic American, one must be a citizen of the United States. However, that is not so. One of the traits that sets the U.S. apart from many other nations in history, is that it is a country not organized specifically around a particular ethnicity, language, religion, culture or common historical origin, but a shared political ideology. The United States is organized around a common love of liberty, individual rights and free expression. This, in part, accounts for the unending stream of immigration starting from the very conception of the nation and continuing on to the present day. In today's United States, there are many thousands who are not citizens, and yet who live in the United States and share its dreams (and many of them will be citizens when they are able). The author would even argue that there are many Patriotic Americans who have never yet even set foot on U.S. soil. There are no requirements of language, skin color, religion, sexual orientation or particular condition of any other personal detail to be a "true American." Just a love of liberty.



I hope that the test was either entertaining, educational or some combination of the two. I appreciate your taking it. If you have any serious question/comment, the author is always glad to discuss this subject or any other (though please keep in mind my initial warnings--you knew what this test was about when you decided to take it). Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following:



Nerds, Geeks & Dorks



Professional Wrestling



Love & Sexuality




Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Thanks Again! -- THE ARE YOU A PATRIOTIC AMERICAN? TEST

For The Record:



A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.



You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.



Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!



Congratulations!




Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:



Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Professional Wrestling






Love & Sexuality




America/Politics




Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

You are the Spiteful Loner, the personality type that is most likely to go on a shooting rampage. In high school, you were probably that kid who wore all black and who sat alone in a corner of the lunch room, drawing pictures of dead babies. You are a rational person and tend to hold emotions in very low-esteem; not only that, but you are also rather introverted, meaning you probably bury any emotions you feel deep inside yourself, like all of the bodies in your backyard. Combine these traits with your dislike of others and your brutality, and it seems that you would be quite likely to shoot innocent people in a rampage. Most likely, you also have low self-esteem. Hell, I get low self-esteem just looking at you. This is only yet one more incentive to go on a shooting rampage, because you wouldn't care if you died as a result. Granted, you probably haven't gone on a shooting rampage and probably never will, but all the motivations are there. All you need is for someone to push you over the edge, calling you names and belittling you. Like me. But don't shoot me. I have a 101 mile-long knife, you know. In conclusion, your personality is defective because you are too introverted, brutal, insecure, and rather unemotional. No wonder no one hangs around you, you morbid, cold-hearted freak!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more BRUTAL than gentle.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Televangelist.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Capitalist Pig, the Smartass, and the Sociopath.

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If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

Not too bad at all, looks like you've been paying attention. Although you may not be very respected in either faerie court, you do have the respect of your people. Keep up the good work!